With news that her seven-year marriage to Guy Ritchie is finally set to be terminated, Madonna is today facing up to yet another embarrassing failure in her life. Because despite her immense riches and years of success, aged 50, Madonna has had more toe-curling moments than most celebrities.
From her evermore cringe-inducing obsession of keeping up with the latest young trends well into middle-age – never mind her insistence on wearing revealing leotards at every opportunity – Madonna has refused to grow old gracefully.
Here, Mirror.co.uk rounds up Madonna’s Top 10 most embarrassing moments for you to blush along with:
1. Madge rather embarrassingly fell over live onstage during her Sticky And Sweet tour in
2. Trying to be a proper country-house-living Englishwoman – then mashing herself up good and proper, cracking three ribs and breaking her collarbone and hand, by falling off her horse as she trotted around her estate. An entire nation stifled its laughter.
3. Going out with faux rapper Vanilla Ice. Quite literally, we need say no more.
4. Hanky Panky. Or her cover of American Pie. Two of the nadirs of Madonna’s recorded output at any rate. The pop equivalent of fingernails down a blackboard.
5. Her starring role in the universally-panned Swept Away – directed by hubby Guy. Was this turkey the beginning of the end for the pair? Whatever, we bet Madge has a few cardboard boxes of this stinker on DVD hidden under her bed.
6. Her brother Chris writing a tell-all book about her. The Queen of Pop is a famed control freak, but after falling out with her little bro some years back, she had no say over this juicy little book of horrors. We bet Madonna’s heart chills with embarrassment whenever she thinks of it.
7. Fellating a bottle in her famed ‘on the road’ documentary In Bed With Madonna to show off her ‘technique’. As embarrassing as walking in on your mum and dad getting fruity in bed. See the clip here - WARNING! Madonna is being a right pottymouth too...
8. As if that weren’t bad enough, after getting her boobs out on the catwalk for Jean Paul Gaultier, Madge then decided to show the world her even ruder bits in all their un-airbrushed glory in her explicit coffee table book Sex. A planet averted it’s eyes and said in unison: ‘Put it away, love’
9. Undignified and inappropriate swearing at inopportune moments. Like saying ‘motherf******’ while announcing the winner of the highbrow Turner Prize live on BBC Two. Wow, like, how crazy, zzzzzzz.
10. Her entire involvement in the hocus pocus ‘religion’ of Kaballah. Fifty dollars for a bit of red string, we ask you.
Actually, some may say that her marrying Mockney posh, ginger, slightly rubbish film director Guy Ritchie is probably one of the sorriest episodes of her career to date too, considering her first marriage was to the edgy Sean Penn, now lauded the world over as one of the finest actors and directors of his generation.
Then again, we hope our Madge won't be too hard on herself over her more embarrassing moments. As you sang yourself once Madge darling, it's only Human Nature…
